As The Story Turns

Our "First" make as we go story

Island Adventure

We find our group standing in line ready to get on board the
Navy ship MCM Scout. Our wonderful list mate, Melissa's husband,
Jerry has graciously extended us an invitation for our group to
visit the ship before they leave on their long six month
deployment. 

Bev is in the line putting on lip gloss.

 Jo is getting everyone introduced as Melissa busily
snaps pictures of everything and everyone! Bev pleads with
her not to take a picture of her Dupa. (polish for her behind) Now we are on
board. The Captain and the crew are all so gracious as we
tour the lower level of the ship. He extends an
invitation to Bev to come visit the bridge. As they walk on
to the bridge Bev whips out her dust cloth and can of
Endust. She sees what a mess the whole area is in....coffee cups
everywhere and all those dusty buttons, and wants to help the captain so he
won't be ashamed when the others come to the bridge. As she
straightens the dials, buttons and levers all in precise
lines, proceeds to shine and polish them to perfection. The captain
gets a message that they have to sail out of the harbor to
where a chopper went down. He makes the decision to just
sail and keep the civvies on board. Just put them in the
mess and make them coffee and keep them happy.   Jerry
leads the group to the mess deck and sees to it they are made comfortable. The ship casts off their lines. After a few
hours, there is a horrible clank and loud groan.  The
captain asks everyone to immediately come to the main deck. Sounding
most irritated and trying to control his temper. He stands
there glaring at us.   "Who touched the turquoise button"?  The button
on the left at the bottom of the last control panel on the
bridge?"  Who touched it?   Do you have any idea what you have done?! That
button controls the gyros. They have locked because of an
electrical short that fried the control panel, this has
made it impossible to navigate! Because of this we will
have to let you people off the ship on this island.   We must lighten our load and with the extra weight of
you 65 + people we can not get back to our base. 
 GET OFF!! Get off NOW!!!! I am NOT going to pay for this
whole ship!!! Bev is sheepishly standing toward the back of the group  As
the captain's voice gets louder and louder Bev steps back
further and further so he won't notice her! I was just
trying to help! she cries! As we all tromp
off the ship and on to the sunny, sandy beach, we hear Melissa
shouting "But Jerry! I'm your wife! ! I am going to have
your child in a few months".  Jerry shouts back, "Sorry
honey, I will try to get back before the baby is born...er
if the captain will sign my leave." Tom comes forward and
shouts to Jerry, "Jerry, don't worry I know something about
medicine. I'll help Melissa." Jerry waves a thanks to Doc
Tom and Melissa. The ship limps off into the sunshine...not
quite going the right direction, you can hear the captain still
shouting, "Follow the @#&%* sun Sailor!!!!" 

On the island, Gus and Dave
become #1 and #2 respectively. Gus says, "I think we need sleeping 
quarters for the women and one for the men." Dave agrees as
they get the men lined up to build the hut for the women.
But first, they have to figure out just where they want
this hut...not too close to the men's hut because they will
be playing cards and the women will complain about the
noise. Then Jim says, "I remember how to make Coconut
liquor! I'll get started on that!" Off he goes to gather
the first harvest of coconuts. 
BEV;
But ... it was such a pretty turquoise button!
Only touched it for a second!!! It's no fun being a list
owner all I do is get blamed for everything! Besides.. Jo
dared me to do it!!! Wonder if Jerry will let me get my
suitcase. My face is in there.  Can't go to a strange island
without my face! Can't forget my earrings either!!! And
what if we get in an accident on the island? ...one has to
have clean underwear on... my Mom said so!. Oh boy... this
island is gonna have
a lot of bugs, snakes and spiders!! OH MY!! Dave and Gus, do
you think you could put running water in my hut.. won't use
an out house! Now Jim...l'm not into Coconuts... but Tom
Collins would be nice!!  Pam where did you go??? I
swear.. I can't take that girl anywhere! What are you
doing? Bev singing "There she is... coming up over the
hill with Jim Dave and Doc Tom. Where were you
Pam?????
PAM;
Hi Bev! Look what washed up on the beach, your head bean
stick! Hmmm, it looks a little bit warped but it still
works. Guess you are wondering where we were? Dave, Jim and
Doc Tom thought we would look for the perfect place to
build our huts. We found the most beautiful site for the
women's hut. It is in a clearing above the bay. The winds
blow nicely and the palm trees will give us shade from the
sun. Oh, did I tell you? Dave found this old Sextant and
some old maps. We now know where we are...as if it will
help us! We are on Clipperton atoll.  From what I gather we
are about 600 miles due west of Acapulco! I have always
wanted to visit Acapulco...this is not it! Pam sniffs. Jim
was showing me how to make these neat Palm Frond hats.
Don't you think it looks nice?  Pam looks up the sand dune
to see Linda working away on her Solar powered laptop.  Hey
Linda! I got a hat for you. I wouldn't want you to start
getting a bad burn! Bev, you should check in that huge bag
(looks like a cotton pickers bag) you are dragging behind
you to see if you have any sunscreen. We are all going to
need it! Oh Bev! you seem to have lost an earring. Bev
dives into her huge bag and rummages around, "found it! She
smiles, I 'II put this Band-Aid on my ear and no one will
notice I lost an earring. Betty, you are getting a bit pink
on
your arms come over here I have some Avon sunscreen in here
somewhere!" Bev dives back into the huge bag. Betty,is
using her GPA to try to find the closest island with a
rescue crew on it! Linda walks over and taps on the bag
trying to get Bev's attention, "Bev, while you are in there
could you look to see if you have anything for my cracked
lips?" The bag is moving left, then jerks right, then rises
and falls. Bev backs out of the bag with sunscreen and lip
medication. Here Betty, use this.  Here is lipdew it will
help.   Linda, what are you doing on that Solar powered
laptop?
LINDA T.
Linda sits on the sand and sighed. "Pam, SOMEONE has to try
to reach the outside world and let them know where we are".
   (Pam gives Linda a weird look as Betty, Bev, and Marci
giggle. Tom walks up behind her with Jim and Dave. All of a
sudden the men start laughing. Dave looks at Linda and
says, " Linda. let's look at this realistically. Even
though your laptop is solar powered, how in the world to
you expect to hook up to the internet?" Linda turned red
and muttered "Bev, forget the cracked lips, do you have
anything for red cheeks?" Linda stared at the screen for a
few more minutes, typed something, got up and walked to the
water. She then flung the laptop into the surf. Tom 
yelled "what in the world are you doing?"  Linda turns around
and says, "well, since Bev won't give up any of her make up
containers to stuff a note in I figure someone will find
the laptop with the SOS message on it. Tom sighed and said
" Linda more than your lips are cracked." Linda says,
"You're telling me, I forgot to sign it. Tom just shook his
head and started to walk off. " Boy, people sure act
strange under stress" he thought. He looked around him and
his brain started whirling. Wait, what was that sound? All
of a sudden he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye.
He held his breath. Must stay calm he said. I don't want
anyone to panic. He waved to Dave and Jim and motioned to
Don and the rest of the guys. They knew the signal. They
were after all brothers. They slowly started walking to the
area in question....
MARCI;
Tom and the guys are headed off to find out what the sound
was, The Ladies are still sitting amazed by Linda throwing
her laptop in to the ocean, Marci decides to sneak  off into
the trees to find some coconuts, because she was so rudely
pushed off the ship because of Bev's little mishap, that she
found herself with just a towel on because she had just
come back from a swim in the ocean where she lost her swim suit,
it was so hot!!!!!. Needless to say she was a little
embarrassed because of her attire and needed something more
to wear , (and we all know Bev. not wanting to share what
is in her "BIG" Bag), so Marci is sitting in the dirt
trying with all her might to beat the heck out of a coconut.  If she could open it would be able to use the shells for a top.
For it was either the coconut shells to wear or the palm leaves,
Don't these things come in a smaller size? This is
definitely not "Park Avenue" shopping! 

Back at camp the
ladies have just realized that Marci is no longer with
them, and the guys have gone off.  Panic has now set into
motion. Marci hears something sneaking up on her from
behind, when she turns and lets out a scream....
DOC TOM:
Tom could see that approaching Marci from behind was this strange looking animal.  It had short greasy black hair and two razor sharp
tusks protruding from each side of its pig like snout.  It appeared startled by Marci's scream. It stopped suddenly and
started snorting very loudly, pawing the sand with its
front legs. Marci was frozen in her tracks. This animal had
a terrible odor to it much like skunk cabbage. It started
running in Marci's direction snorting and with saliva
dripping from its mouth.  This creature was about to take a large bite of our Marci when like a flash Tom appeared out of the
jungle, taking a leaping dive towards the beast and
yelling, run Marci, run, I will save you. Tom reached the
beast just in time and brought it to the ground.  The beast would not give up. Tom and the stinking greasy beast
were rolling around in the hot sand and it kept snarling and
gnashing its teeth.   The razor like tusk on either side of its head  was nearly digging in to Toms arms.  But Tom held on tight,
cussing loudly, at the smelly thing, they rolled and they
rolled and eventually reached the surf coming up on the
beach. Tom was yelling obscenities at the thing (like it
understood human language). He realized it was a wild boar
he was trying to subdue. Finally Tom reached for his trusty
(Swiss Army knife) knife  he kept strapped to his right leg.  They both disappeared under water in the depths of the deep surf.
Tom plunged the knife deep into the side of the beast. Blood
splattered as he cut into its lungs.  They both went underwater once more and I thought the
beast had done Tom in, but with one last gasp for air it rose up from the water and feel back down.   The water surrounding was red with blood.  Tom shot to the surface of the water gasping for air as though he had been shot up from its depths, like a submarine breaking water.  When he could speak he Yelled "build a fire,
we are going to eat tonight...."
PAM:
Well, we will need a fire, Pam said. I know! We can start a
fire with lint! I remember my Girls Scout days. When we
were out camping we started a fire with lint, leaves and a
lens from Susies glasses! Now, first we need to get the pig
into pork chops and the fire Okay! All you men, show your
belly buttons!!! I need lint. In less than five minutes Pam
has a handful of lint, a lens from her hubs glasses and
some dried up palm leaves! She starts to make the fire.
When out of the thicket comes some of the men. They have
found something......    
JO;
It was unlike anything I had ever seen before.  I asked "Guys, what
is that you have there?"   Jim says it looks like a, well Jo,  it's    er... a you know...I have no clue.....what in the blue blazes is that
thing anyway fellas? Gus, looked closer at the object which
when he turned it over it began to hum...careful here now,
he said" this device must have a purpose but I can tell you
that the hum along with that ticking sound...just might
mean trouble. As the humming and the ticking started so did
it stop...what could that mean? Just then a voice could be
heard. Bob said, "I think it is coming out of your trinket
there" ...Listen, what do you hear? We all stood around
staring at the object and could hear a voice Unable to recognize the words and identify the location of the speaker, however. . Dave
decided that this must be some kind of a remote
device...maybe we could use it to summon help in rescuing
us from this island but first it will be necessary to....
BETTY;
...but first it will be necessary to have Don call in the
SEALS to investigate and check out that ticking. I think he
can contact them through the 'waves' and they'll be here
before we know it." All at once Melissa starts screaming
"Jerry, where did you go?" Carrie said "He told me he was
off too Ketchikan." Melissa said "But there's no reason for
him to go there now...Betty's here! When will they decide
where they are going?" Then that voice came from this
remote 'thing' ...the voice was garbled, water-logged, and
we finally heard "I found it! " Jo said "That sounds like
Dawn, I'd know her voice anywhere! " ...and dripping wet
out of the water came Dawn carrying Linda's laptop. PJ ran
to help her and said "What on earth were you doing in the
water, Dawn...you could have been hurt and we would never
have found you." Dawn just looked at her and said "I have
to get this laptop working. When we are rescued, you guys
are going to be looking for all these URLs and I can't get
behind because Jo and Betty are watching me. I know a way
to make this thing work it won't be easy, but I can do it!"
Dawn sat down with the laptop and hollered for Gus to come
help her get the water and to get the 'bugs' out of it.
Then she attached it to this strange remote device and
powered it up. "I've got to delete your SOS message
Linda...there isn't room for it and my graphics and links.
Nanner, nanner! Finders Keepers!!" "Hey, Marci, I need one
of those coconut halves to put these 'bugs' in...grab a
palm leaf" Gus said. All at once, Jeannie came running out
of the grove of trees followed by John and Janice. "We lost
Ines back there, we can't find her and we think something
has kidnapped her. Danny, wake up and help us find her.
Mike, get out of that tree right now and help search "
Everyone followed Janice as she went back the way they'd
come out...searching for Ines...searching and searching and
then the heard......
DEBBY;
"Got it!" Following the voice, they came into a clearing
they'd missed before which had apparently once contained
some sort of farm. Lucky for them, as they'd need a
balanced diet for Melissa. Janice asked if she'd seen Ines,
but Debby had been too busy checking out the available
plant life on the island to pay attention to details. Stan, (her
husband) always said she needed someone to follow her around
to keep her from losing her head. " N 0, I didn't find Inez, but I did find plenty of goodies to go with that roast pig for dinner .
There's even mint and chamomile for a nice relaxing cup of
tea!" looking at the searchers, she then asked,"IF you're
all out looking who is butchering the pig?" Mike told her
they weren't sure, but had better continue to look for
Inez.  Debby gathered up her loot and headed back for the
beach. Upon arrival she asked how the butchering was
coming.  Dawn and Gus were still working with the computer
and the strange alien looking device he'd found. Marci had
finally found a couple of big bandanas to make a halter top
out of, so was helping Linda with the butchering. Debby
took the veggies, fruit & herbs over to the cooking area.
"I'm so glad that you got the skin off in one piece....good job! We can use that for a boiling pot if we do it right. How about the stomach?  Did you get it out without any holes?
We're going to need it to bring fresh water from the
stream?" Marci rolled her eyes toward Linda and answered
"She remembered, will we ever find something she can't do?"
"Probably not! But I'm rather glad to have her around. "
Meanwhile Melissa was sitting in the shade trying not to
cry and feeling VERY angry about Jerry letting the Captain
kick them off the ship. Bev finally dug out some chocolate
from her big bag to help soothe her.....
PJ;
While Debby, Marci and Linda bickered about pig tummies and
veggies, and Gus, Tom, Linda, Pam and Bev debated on how to
contact the outside world using the tools that were at
hand, PJ ever the practical, deep-thinking one went off
behind the women's shack to ponder several things. "What
was that mysterious object Gus found? Who could have left
it here? Gasp! Could there be someone other than the VWF
group on this island?? And are they friend or foe?? Yikes!
While Pj's heart was pounding over these thoughts, she was
stabbing the ground with a sturdy stick. All of a sudden,
she realized she'd hit something hard under the dirt! Those
people on the beach heard her yip of excitement and looked
toward the shack, to see dirt flying head high! Pam said
"What is that woman doing now...trying to dig her way back to
Tennessee??!!!" Then they heard another loud "YIPPEE" and
went running behind the shack to find P J holding two cases
she'd dug up...one was a case of Spam from WWll, and the
other was........
MELISSA:
A case of Whiskey and 3 cartons of old stale cigarettes.
Looks like life on the island just got a little more
exciting...Marci screams with joy and runs for the smokes
trying not to burn hair while leaning into the fire to
light the cigarette...Doc Tom is relieved to find out that
he has a few more days to figure out his moonshine
system...Melissa is a little more content now that she has
some chocolate to calm her nerves...but makes sure that
everyone knows how unfair it is that they are all starting
to get a little loopy while she has to sit back and watch.
Knowing that it was her husband ship that started this
whole mess... Where in the hell is Jennifer???? Some best
friend she is turning out to be "Melissa! Will you come
over here and eat some food...you need to feed that baby,"
Debby yells. Marci and Bev walk over to help her out of the
sand and when she stood up she cries out in pain "OH MY
GOD!!!" Pam screams As Melissa looks down in amazement at
the puddle of water growing in the sand at her feet
JEN:
All of a sudden Dave yells for everyone to be quiet he
heard something in the bush...everyone looks up and out
walks Jen...she has found Ines. Jen sees everyone start to
run for Melissa and comes over to see what the problem is
"Great can't leave you alone for 10 minutes without you
going into labor ...just how am I supposed to explain this
to Jerry?" Bev yells for Doc Tom to come help Gus, Dave and
Debb start trying to construct........
BEV:
Bev yells "I don't no nutin about birthing no babies!" As
far as being on the receiving end that is! Gus, Dave and
Debby drop what there doing and run to help Bev and Marci!
Jen, in the mean time, assures Melissa she will be right
back with some palm tree leaves to wrap the baby in. Bev
yells! "Have you guys figured out the way to make a fire
yet? We need boiling water...don't know why.. but they
always have it in the movies." Doc Tom hurries over and
takes Melissa's vital signs! Melissa says to Tom "I'm so
thankful your here.. I have this feeling they don't know
what there doing!" Tom takes his hand and gently touches
Melissa's face. Bev, in the mean time, comes up with an
idea to relieve pain! We will build you a birthing swing
Melissa! When the contractions come.. we will push your
swing up high in the air! While your up in the air the
gravity will be less... and it will ease your pain! Dave
and Debbie immediately start debating on the ways to build
the correct swing with the proper vines! Dawn comes running
down the hill, out of breath, gasping for air and
says.."Forget the computer...if we have a fire...I can send
smoke signals for help! Gus looks defeated and says "smoke
signals?" Awwwww shucks!!!!!!!....
GUS:
Gus drug out his glasses and used the lens to focus the sun
on a batch of fairly dry leaves. There was a little wisp of
smoke, which promptly went out when he bent over to fan the
thing a bit. This went on for about 15 minutes, at which
time he gave up with the glasses, and went to his shirt
pocket and pulled out a butane lighter. "This works a lot
better," sez he. Once the flame gets a bit larger, a few
sticks are added. Then some larger sticks and some small
logs. "That flame is going pretty good now." He wanders
over to a palm tree, grabs a few of the larger leaves, and
heads back to the fire. Putting the leaves over the fire
kinda quenches the flame, and when the leaves are removed,
out comes a huge puff of smoke, as the fire reignites. This
repeated, will produce appropriate clouds of smoke that
obviously aren't natural". Gus leaves Dave to watch the
fire/smoke generator and he heads to the top of the biggest
hill on the island to keep an eye out for the rescuers or
the forest management folks (whoever shows up first).
DOC TOM AND DANNY:
After Danny and I got back, we had to talk and make sure we
were still Bros, I mean King Cobras are big, Really big,
scared me so much I forgot Danny for a minute, Sorry Bro
did not mean to do that, any way all the ladies and guys
were startled to see Danny and I shoot out of the bush so
fast, out eyes as big as chicken eggs, wow, that was close,
Yeh, Danny Them guys can find their own food, we are going
to sit here in the sand and suck on coconut moonshine and
collect ourselves. someone had said that Melissa was in a
bad way, every one was so excited the last time when they
all thought her water broke, that's when I gently stroked
Melissa's face and tried to calm her down but every one was
making such a big ruckus over it I did not have a chance to explain.
Melissa is not having her baby, she is not due until early
July, and she didn't break her water, that puddle in the
sand was just some coconut milk she spilled, She needed
cooling off and she was sipping it and when she stood up it
spilled from her coconut. Marcy was very lucky as someone
had said that they were going to get some coconut leaves to
wrap the baby in, what Marci did not know was that I would
not let that happen, knowing from experience, that it
would cause the baby to become infected with some very bad
fungus and germs. so I was going to do the only thing
necessary and look for the closest clean thing around if the
baby was coming, which it was not. Marci would give up her
Halter top being that she is such a loving and caring
person, and she would understand, that I was not taking
advantage of her. I would give Marci my tattered shirt. now
as far as sending up smoke signals are concerned, we could
not have had any help as we are no where near shipping
lanes nor military training areas, Melissa's hub's ship
traveled a great distance from the training area to put us
off the ship. We would have to set out to find a military
plane that I had seen earlier while Danny and I were
looking for food before the "wait a minute Vine" snagged him
while facing a King Cobra. The plane had been shot down
during the War and we proceed to remove its radio, and set out
to clean it up. We could use the magneto from the starting
engine to power up the radio.  We could make it work,
after all we are the Veterans Wives & Families group, the best
of the best, we care and love and share and get things
done, we are persistent.    Danny, you can help me run a
line of wire we stripped from the plane up in a tall tree for
an antenna,   Gus you and the other guys can take turns
cranking on the magneto generator.   Someone can
send an SOS mean while Danny and I are going to get drunk
and then.....

PJ;
PJ being a bit upset by all the talk of grubs, snakes,
lizards as a way to survive; and from watching Bev turn a
lovely shade of Olive Green when the group tried to
convince her to eat fish, thought she had to get away by
herself. She walked and walked, heading away from the
group. After going a couple of miles, she heard a rustling
in the bushes! Could it be another wild boar?? "Oh no here
I am with no weapons to defend myself, and Doc Tom's back
with Danny getting drunk or whatever and no one knows where.
I am alone now and no one can save me What will I do"???
She thought and thought..... Heart pounding, breathing hard, she found a thick bush to jump behind and just in time!! She heard more
rustling; footsteps; voices murmuring. As they drew near
her hiding place, she scrunched down and peeked between the
branches. There, just a few feet from her now,  5 men and
women all dressed in the same blue uniform thingy. PJ
thought it looked vaguely familiar, but was too scared to
really concentrate on it. They were passing by her hiding
place when the last woman dropped something, turned to pick
it up, and PJ saw writing on the front of her smock. In red
letters, she saw written there oh my gosh!!!!!!
WALMART!!!!!!!!! Maybe they've all been just on the other
side of the island from civilization and we didn't need to
have the survivor skills at all and Bev wouldn't have had
to take a bite of fish!!!!!!!!!! standing there stunned, and
unable to speak...as these robots like bodies passed by.
PJ wonders who will believe her and what she should do?.

DEB:
The last one in the line turned and looked right at PJ. Got to
give that girl credit, SHE SURE CAN RUN! Without hesitation she
headed back for the beach and the rest of the gang. Of
course, when she got there she was so out of breath that
all she could do was collapse on the sand and point behind
her. The gang turned and looked to see a line of "people"
in Walmart smocks coming out of the trees. Danny and Doc
looked, blinked, rubbed their eyes, looked again-then looked
at each other and dumped their drinks in the sand. Bev
marched right up to the first one in line, and to give her
full credit, didn't hesitate when she realized they seemed
to be robots. However, when she addressed them asking them
for their store number! They didn't answer, but continued
to the laptop with that strangely humming and ticking ball
attached to it. The first 2 in line picked up the combined
contraption and touched something on the ball which hummed
and ticked faster for a few seconds. Then they hummed and
ticked at each other before touching something else that
seemed to activate the computer as ALL it's files started
scrolling down the screen too fast to see. Amazing how long
a minute and a half can seem. When that finished One spoke
to Bev "Hello, I am TchatKoma. We wish to thank you for
your assistance." Our ever brilliant Bev answered with:
"Our assistance?!" "Yes, your assistance. This small
locator, translator was inactive until your party located
it. Because you managed to activate it, we are here to
collect some of our youth who have been visiting here
without the proper permission. We thank you and wish to
know what we can offer you for your courtesy ." "Well,
since you ask, if it's not too much trouble..." Jo rushed
to put in... "we're just a little out of touch with our
home base as well. Would it be possible to send a message
for assistance in getting us back to the mainland?" "Yes,
that would be quite simple, however," TchatKoma asked,
"would it not be preferable to just be transported there
now?" The babble which resulted from this statement was
broken by Sarge's bellow "QUIET!" Then he turned to their
rescuers " That would most certainly be preferable. What
might your requirements be concerning getting us there."
"Only a space approximate to 100 of your feet squared in
open air and free of obstacles." "Well, that leaves out my
corner." muttered Bev. "No problem." Debby announced. "I've
wanted to get you all to my place anyway." She turned to
TchatKoma and asked what kind of directions they needed to
get there. "We have your maps from the Notebook, so just
tell us where." "Notebook?" TchatKoma pointed to the
computer, and Deb continued " Oh, OK. Well, can you
pinpoint a spot 1.125 miles from the Southeast corner of
the city limits of Pittsburgh Kansas?" "Simple. What else
is required to repay your help to us?" "Just get us home,
and we'll feel like we owe you." The next thing they knew
they were all standing in the middle of an uncut hay field
surrounded by all the stuff they'd gathered in their
adventures! Spooky, Elvira & Snickers ran toward them
barking their heads off until they spotted Debby and mobbed
her. "All right girls, down. Come on in, I'll make coffee,
I don't know about anyone else, but I could sure use some."